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Secret Waltzes

from Heartlands by Arthur Durkee

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Words & Music by Arthur Durkee

lyrics

Secret Waltzes

In high school I dated girls,
I thought I was straight,
No one there was gay.

I went through the motions,
I played the right games,
Still I couldn’t love my girl.

Then life turned a corner,
gave me a chance
to know who I was,
to be free.

I traveled to Europe
for one year of study—
suddenly, I was free!

The place, the people, the food!
I was thrilled to be alive!
Then I met him.

It felt so natural
to hold hands, to kiss,
to make love, to laugh.
I said to myself, “I’m gay!”

I dated a man all year,
I lived openly, I loved openly—
but then I had to go home.

Back home in the Midwest
I went back in the closet
of my fraternity.

But I started to notice
I wasn’t alone,
i wasn’t the only one.
I saw men I knew
at the dance, at the bar.

We don’t talk about it,
we’re the soul of discretion,
we waltz our waltz silently.

But we smile to each other
in church, in college,
at work, in our family.

We live and let live
We love and let love
We know who we are
and we’re free.

credits

from Heartlands, released February 22, 2019
solo: Jon Hoffman

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about

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Arthur Durkee Ann Arbor, Michigan

Arthur Durkee is a composer & songwriter who records & performs on Chapman Stick, bass, analog modular synths, bamboo & wood flutes, keys, frame drums, and voice. He has won awards for composed, notated music as well as for his recordings, & is a published poet, & designer & illustrator. ... more

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